All around the USA right now, there are hundreds (perhaps thousands) of couples feeling torn apart by the current political climate. They are on opposite ends of the political spectrum and are having difficulty coming to terms with how to be together successfully in these fraught times.
One of my incredible clients wrote this powerful testament to her experience with this journey and gave me permission to share it here:
I have been struggling with a situation that I know is not unique right now. I am in love with, and want to marry a man, who voted for Donald Trump.
My Love and I have not talked much about this subject because it is so painful to me. I have felt betrayed by his vote and have seriously questioned who he is and how I could be with him. I will not presume to talk for my Love, but I know that he loves his children and his country and wants what is best for them. Given all the factors, he felt he was making the best choice he could. I hope to be able to find the serenity and words to start a dialogue with him about this at some point. But for now, I have done my work around this issue and have come to understand that I will love him and be with him forever because:
When I was dating, I asked the Universe for my equal and this is the man I was sent. I take the response of the Universe to my deeply held intention very seriously. I love him with all my heart and soul. I know that he loves me deeply as well.
He needs me in his life to realize that strong emotions are not dangerous. He can learn from me that it is safe to have and show strong emotions. In fact, it is healthy.
He needs me in his life to dream. He doesn’t dream of his future. He plans it. He manages it. He needs me to show him how to dream. I just learned this recently as well. I was not taught to dream about my future. I was afraid to dream because I was afraid they would never come true. I know differently now and hope to share that with him.
I like that he is as sure in his convictions as I am mine. I feel safe when he is decisive and bold even if I do not agree. I like his physical strength as well. It feels so right and safe when I am in his arms.
I need to learn things from him. The parts of me that need to be enriched and strengthened are strong and sure in him.
I want to be the voice of my sisters and brothers to him. He needs to hear and see my viewpoint from someone he respects and cherishes. If I want to open his eyes to my point of view he needs to be constantly exposed to my truth. He needs to see me speaking and acting my truth. We need to open a dialogue and for that to happen, we need to be together.
And most of all, my body told me that his higher self is deserving of my love. My body knows my truth. It has told me that his higher being, his soul, is deserving of my love. My soul loves his soul, it is our human shells that are out of alignment.
Perhaps I have lived my whole life for this challenge. I asked for him to be in my life before it even started and everything I have experienced is so that I could be with him and experience this moment. This seemingly insurmountable difference is but a stepping stone to an even greater connection and joy.
And so, this is an area of my life that gives me great joy and great anguish. Because of this situation there is a huge area of our lives that we cannot discuss. It is too emotionally charged for me at this time. But I am committed to continuing to allow myself to feel whatever it is I need to feel to soften the wall between us.
My Love is a great man and our problem is not unique. I can love a man that voted for DT. One day, I will be able to speak my truth to him calmly and understand the choice that he made. Until then, I hold the evidence of my body in front of me and continue to believe that there is a reason, beyond our own happiness, that we are together. Perhaps we are the microcosm of what is happening in this world as clashes between belief systems are so apparent.
There is a change coming in this world, and I and my Love are at the heart of the change.
I would love to hear how this incredible woman’s words resonated for you. Please share your thoughts in the comments below.