It’s Not What You Say…


You probably thought I was going to finish the article title with, “It’s how you say it.”Well, I wasn’t. What I want to talk to you about today is how you talk to yourself.So, tell me, have you ever stopped to listen to the way you talk to yourself? I bet it’s very different than how you talk to others. And not in the good way…

The same care we give to choosing the words we use with others should be used for ourselves, and perhaps even more so. This “self-talk” is so important and so often underestimated.

Sometimes the mistake that we make is really obvious. You can hear it in others when you compliment them and they immediately cut you off to insist that “it’s not a big deal” or “so-and-so is way better at that” or “yuck! my thighs look huge in this”… you know what I mean. Have you ever found yourself saying the same stuff?

But sometimes, it’s more subtle…

I’ve noticed that a lot of friends and clients believe they are thinking positive thoughts and are wondering why their “outer” lives are not reflecting this mindset. They tend to say things like, “I’m not sure this positive thinking, happy mindset stuff really works… I’m doing it right, but I still don’t have all the things I want. I’m nice to people, I do good work, I try really hard and I can’t seem to get it right. What gives?”

Did you notice what happened there? In the same breath that our symbolic friend from the example above was insisting that they had the mindset work down pat, she gave us one really big clue about a HUGE mistake she’s making… Did you hear it?

Negative self talk! In the context of positive self talk!

dunh, dunh, dunnnnnhhhh!!!>

So, are you really thinking positively? How are you talking to yourself? Take some time to notice the streams of thoughts that go through your mind throughout the day. If your life isn’t magical and perfect in every way imagineable, you can trace that back to what your inner voice is saying.

Here’s your homework… er… I mean, your super fun activity of the week: Think of the nicest thing you’ve ever said to someone else, write it down on a sticky note, attach it to your bathroom mirror, and say it to yourself – out loud – every morning.

Yes, really.

Oh, come on… just try it. And see if you don’t notice a change in yourself – and your life – when you do.