It’s time for the LoA Q&A! I’m really excited because this is the very first in what I hope will be a long, informative series. Sometimes, the concept of the Law of Attraction is confusing and difficult to implement. My goal is to clear up some of that confusion and difficulty, so you can allow the really fun, creative stuff to start happening… now! Feel free to give me your feedback in the comments below and submit your questions, too!
I’ve been pretty good at using the Law of Attraction without even realizing it, but I wonder sometimes when things DON’T go as well as I expect… for instance, I am totally vibing high and sending out rockets and being happy where I am, and then BAM! I get hit with something sucky and I KNOW I didn’t attract it any of the usual ways. What is the explanation for this, and what’s the best way to deal with it without getting down in the dumps? — Devon
What a great question, Devon! Actually, it’s a great couple of questions!
First, I want to talk about the “buffer of time” and what I mean by that is that every time we think a thought, we don’t instantly manifest it. And that’s a really good thing.
I have this funny visual image when I think about this concept. Let’s say I was in a meeting and thought to myself, “There’s an elephant in this room and no one is even talking about.” And then this happens:
Yeah… kind of a mess, right?
So, while we might think we want everything right now, we really don’t… not instantly. The buffer of time gives us the opportunity to get really clear (through lots of contrast) about what we want, so when it does manifest, it’s exactly that thing for which we were hoping. And the reality is, we want to feel better and we think we’ll feel better if we have this thing. So, we could cut out the middle man and just feel better, instead of needing things outside of us to be a certain way so we can feel better. I talked about that a bit in my Life’s Greatest Irony post, so feel free to check that out.
Another thing to keep in mind is that these “sucky” things seem to be coming up out of the blue, because they occur during times when you’re feeling really good, they are actually a result of things that you’ve thought about in the past (when maybe you weren’t feeling so hot).
That brings me to my next thought about the explanation for why this is happening with you, Devon… I’m sensing an “Upper Limit Problem” that’s rearing its ugly head. That is a phrase that was coined by Gay Hendricks in his book, The Big Leap (which I highly recommend, by the way). And what he meant by that is that human beings tend to function in fairly distinct “zones” and when we are reaching the outer limit of one of those zones, we tend to create things that are uncomfortable or downright “sucky.” That can manifest in a number of different ways.
For example, let’s say you’re used to doing great work and people are loving you for it, but you’re wanting to shift into doing something that feels even more who you are and what you are wanting to offer to the world. Perhaps this is a shift from your “Zone of Excellence” into your “Zone of Genius”… and this elicits all sorts of fearful thoughts, like, “But I don’t have enough experience, expertise, letters after my name, etc. and no one is going to pay me to do that and they don’t like me that much anyway and I can’t find the time and and and…” You know what I mean… that thread of negative inner critic talk that pops up just when we’re feeling our most vulnerable.
At that point, most people simply give up on that idea or that dream and stay “safe” in doing what they’ve always done. And we all know where that gets us: more of what we’ve always got.
Well, you don’t have to let that Upper Limit Problem stand between you and doing your Genius Work. You can make a conscious choice to choose better feeling thoughts. You could choose to honor and acknowledge those fearful thoughts, because they are helping you to get more clear about what you really want.
Also, find ways to honor where you are in every way. For example, be sure to share with your family and friends how much you love and appreciate them; recognize the abundance you’ve already created in your life; notice the beauty around you; take good care of your body and make time for self-care.
Remember that these Upper Limit Problems are all part of the journey… they’re “grist for the mill,” as my mother used to say. Everyone experiences them and I’m willing to bet that the people who most inspire you have had their share, too. They probably then found a way to move through them.
The good news is that ULPs go away fairly easily once we acknowledge them and let go of our “victim mentality” issues. The belief that things are happening to you is so unhelpful, don’t you think?
Finally, you may be tempted to shrink into a little ball when you’re transitioning into a new “zone.” DON’T! It’s always uncomfortable on that “growing edge,” but it’s also a great sign that you’re really onto something!
It’s capacity building at its best and it’s good for everyone on the planet… not just for you. Though even if it was just for you, that would be good enough, wouldn’t it?
I ask myself this question whenever I’m feeling unsure:
“What would the world be like if everyone did/thought/felt this?”
That helps to put everything in perspective for me. Seeing a world where everyone is being their true, authentic, unique and lovable selves without apology is an incredibly joyful vision to me. So, I go with that!
I hope this answered your question, Devon! If you have others, or if you want to continue the discussion, feel free to do so in the comments below.