I am the first to tell my friends, family, and clients that they can “have it all” when it comes to having the partner of their dreams… but the reality is that this isn’t the whole truth.
And no, I don’t mean that you have to settle or make do when it comes to the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with… BUT (and this is a BIG but) you have to recognize that relationships still require work.
You could meet your Prince Charming tomorrow, but that perfection will only take you so far. You have to remember that everything changes. Your partner will change. Your life circumstance will change. And, of course, YOU will change.
And because that’s true, your relationship will change. And then change again. And, oh yeah, have I mentioned that it will be change?
“Having it all” isn’t one point in time, where suddenly all your troubles are over… It’s a (you guessed it) journey.
So, you have to commit. And then recommit. And then recommit to that relationship. To what you want. To being the best version of yourself in a relationship that reflects the best version you can imagine in a relationship.
I’m not trying to be heavy or overly dramatic here. But there’s SO much drama, heartache, divorce, destruction, and just yuck in relationships these days. It’s time to own up to the fact that you can’t just get the “certificate of completion” and expect to live happily ever after.
The key to happiness in romantic relationships is to be willing to do the work. Today. Tomorrow. The next day. Next week. Next month. Next year. In 10 years.
You get the idea.
If your partner suddenly decides to be a vegan after years as a meat and potatoes guy; or finds (or loses) faith; or decides to grow a beard; or tires of your endless trips to the barn… are you willing to find a way to love him? Could you do the work of finding common ground? Can you be light-hearted and allowing about the changes? If so, what might that look like?
So, do you commit to actively creating the experience you want with your partner, from this day forward, until death do you part?
I’d love to hear your “Commitment Statement” once you’ve gotten clear on it. It might sound something like, “I commit to ___________ (the action you’re committing to because it’s important to maintaining your relationship health/manifesting a relationship/etc.), so that ______________ (the outcome you desire).”
The great thing about these Commitment Statements is that they work, regardless of the relationship situation you find yourself in (partnered vs single; miserable vs mildly bored; etc.). Your mission (should you choose to accept it) is to create them, use them, and stick to them.
P.S. Happy 9th Anniversary of Dating to my amazing husband! And YES, we too, have continuously recommitted to our relationship and ourselves. 🙂